Marriage

The partnership of a Hindu man and woman begins with divine sanction and matures naturally into a union of love and spirit dedicated to the preservation of family, fulfillment, of dharma and liberation for both souls.

What is the Basis for a Happy Marriage?

A happy marriage is based first and foremost on a mature love, not a romantic ideal of love. It requires selflessness and constant attention. A successful marriage is one which both partners work towards a successful life.

While not all marriages must be arranged, there is wisdom in arranged marriages, which have always been an important part of Hindu culture. Their success lies in the families’ judgment to base the union on pragmatic matters which will outlast the sweetest infatuation and endure through the years. The ideal

age for women is from 18 to 25, men from 21 to 30. Stability is enhanced if the boy has completed his education, established earnings through a profession and is at least five years older than the girl. Mature love includes accepting obligations, duties and even difficulties. The couple should be prepared to work with, their marriage, not expecting it to take care of itself.

It is good for bride and groom to write out a covenant by hand, each pledging to fulfill certain duties and promises. They should approach the marriage as holy, advancing both partners spiritually. It is important to marry a spouse who is dependable, chaste and serious about raising children in the Hindu way and worship and pray together. The Vedas say: "Devoted to sacrifice gathering wealth, they serve the Immortal and honour the Gods, united in mutual love. Aum Namah Sivaya.

How Are Hindu Marriages Arranged?

Marriage is a union not only of boy and girl, but bf their families, too. Not leaving specific crucial matters to chance, all family members participate in finding the most suitable spouse for the eligible son or daughter.

In seeking a bride for a son, or a groom for a daughter, the goal is to find a mate compatible in age, physique, education, social status, religion, character and personality. Elders may first seek a partner among families they know and esteem for the kinship bonds the marriage would bring. Astrology is always consulted for compatibility. Of course, mutual attraction and full consent of the couple are crucial. Once a potential spouse is selected, informal inquiries are made by a relative or friend. If the response is encouraging, the father of the girl meets the father of the boy and presents a proposal. Next, both families gather at the girl's home to get acquainted and to allow the couple to meet and discuss their expectations. If all agree to the match, the boy's mother adorns the girl with a gold necklace, or gifts are exchanged between families, signifying a firm betrothal, Rejoicing begins with the engagement ceremony and culminates on the wedding day. The Vedas say, “Straight be the paths and thornless on which our friends will travel to present our suit! May Aryaman and Bhaga lead us together! May heaven grant us a stable marriage!" Aum Namah Sivaya.